Top 9 ways to get over Divorce Heartache
Who am I?
Look in the mirror and really see the person looking back at you. They are a real live human being who are special and unique with a heart that is in pain at the moment but which is still capable of love. I bet it’s some time since you did that. So now you really need to reacquaint you with yourself and get to know yourself better just like you would a new friend. And that’s who you are – a genuine person who has temporarily forgotten that, because of all the divorce grief and divorce depression that they have been going through. So lets start making you feel better about yourself.
What can I do?
1. Every day do something nice for yourself – a walk, a bubble bath, read a book, watch a comedy programme. It doesn’t matter what it is as long as you enjoy doing it and for a period of time you have forgotten about your reasons for divorce. Just totally immerse yourself in the experience of what you have chosen to do.
2. Buy yourself something new. It doesn’t matter whether its a dress (provided you can afford it) or some special soap as long as it
makes you feel special and forget the divorce effects that have been upsetting you.
3. When you looked in the mirror did you see anything that you wanted to change? How long have you had that hairdo and that colour? Maybe its time for a good cut and a change of look that is more flattering than the one you currently have. After all fashions change and new products come on the market. Spoil yourself and see what you think when you next look at yourself. I discuss all this in more detail in my eBook 3 Easy Steps to End Divorce Pain.
What are the next 3 divorce tips?
4. Spend time with family and friends who love you and make you feel good about yourself. Tell them that you don’t want any divorce advice, you just want some time to chill and feel special because of what you mean to them.
5. Boost your energy levels by getting fit. It can be walking, running or cycling every day. Or if you prefer you could join a gym, or go dancing. Swimming or maybe yoga or pilates could be more what you’d prefer doing. Again it doesn’t matter – just as long as you enjoy it. Exercise also increases your feel good factor so that in itself will help you say goodbye to your need for divorce support.
6. Smile whether you feel like it or not and enjoy the smiles you get in return in all age ranges from children to old people. Not only will it make you feel better and help you forget about your divorce depression, but it will improve their day.
And the final 3 divorce tips?
7. Concentrate on the good things that you have in your life and do not focus on what you haven’t got. What you concentrate on in your life is what you create more of so if you focus on lack that’s what you attract but if you focus on plenty then that is what you will attract. However difficult your life might appear to be to you you can always find something to be grateful for.
8. Keep saying ‘I love my life’ even if you don’t mean it because eventually you will and the more you say it the quicker your mind believes it and it happens. At that stage you won’t need to ask the question ‘why divorce?’ again.
9. Look in the mirror and see the way that you are changing as a result of having done the previous 8 tips. And in seeing the difference starting to take place in your eyes and face it will give you the confidence and strength to continue and help you know how to recover from divorce.
And finally?
Remember who you were and enjoy getting to know yourself all over again. To help you do this I set it all out in far greater depth with further advice and guidance in my eBook 3 Easy Steps to End Divorce Pain.
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Divorce advice for women
Is my relationship beyond repair?
This is a question that you need to ask yourself in the cold light of day – not when you’re feeling emotionally upset and unbalanced. If you’ve had too much to drink to numb your pain this will make you unstable and incapable of answering this question honestly. Also there is not a lot to be gained by relying on other people to answer this question for you as they may have their own agenda in that they don’t like your partner or that they never thought it would work out. If you choose to leave, it must be because of your reasons for divorce, not anyone elses.
Should I stay with him?
You have to be brutally honest with yourself when you answer this question. In fact the question that you should be asking is ‘Is it in my best interests to stay with him?’. It’s always so difficult to make decisions when you are in the middle of all the turmoil and hurt. When you are standing outside and being objective it is easy to say what that person should do but when its you its a different matter. This is your life and you have to deal with the consequences if you stay or the divorce emotions if you leave.
Will things change if I stay?
In your heart you know whether they will or not. The problem with us women is that when we marry someone we are so much in love that we overlook any little irritations or faults that we are aware of and think that we can change them anyway. But then as the euphoria wears off and these irritations become more obvious we then realise that actually we can’t change him. In fact the only person that we can change is ourselves. So thats one of the things you have to consider – he won’t change but can you change yourself so that the issues that are causing the problems are resolved? 
Is life without him more scary than staying with him?
A lot of women stay with their partners because they are fearful of the life that they will have on their own, especially if there are children involved. In many cases the children are the main reason that they stay. If however you know in your heart that everything about the relationship is wrong then you are better off leaving, spending some time on your own experiencing personal growth and creating the opportunity for the right relationship to come into your life.
But will I survive on my own?
Yes you will. I’m not saying that it will be easy for you but you will survive. Our survival instinct is older than time and especially if you have children to care for you will make sure that you ‘hang on in there’ for their sake. You will be surprised as well at all the help and support you will be offered by friends and family and even people that you haven’t yet met. It is the end of something but you have to have an end so that there can be a beginning. You will be given plenty of divorce help and divorce support and you will find plenty of advice on divorce for women in my eBook 3 Easy Steps to End Divorce Pain.
Our children will be affected by my decision.
Of course they will because he is their father, or father figure, as you are their mother. For you, you are not just considering getting advice on divorce for women but you are also looking for divorce advice for mothers. If your divorce is handled with sensitivity and the emotions and needs of your children are taken into account then a child can be more content living in a happy, peaceful atmosphere with just one parent than in a bitter, argumentative home situation with both parents.
How can I make sure that the children aren’t emotionally scarred by this experience?
There are many different factors to take into account here such as your children’s age and gender. And of course the way that you and your partner treat them is of paramount importance. It will be a challenging time for you all because emotions will be running very high and you may suffer with divorce grief and divorce depression. However in my eBook How to Lessen the Effects of Divorce on Children I show you how to deal with this situation to cause as minimal amount of emotional upset to the children as possible.
If I leave will we all be able to move on with our lives?
Yes you will. It will take a bit of time as everyone adjusts to the new situation, the new home, the access arrangements but we, as human beings, are amazingly resilient, and it doesn’t take us too long to adapt to what is our new ‘norm’. Once some distance in time has been put between you leaving and today and emotions have calmed down, you may even find that you and your partner get on much better than when you were living together. There have also been some instances where the space caused by you leaving makes you both look at your relationship in a different light and even decide to give it another go.
How to recover from divorce
Is it possible to achieve Divorce Recovery?
How are you feeling now?
Are you feeling:
- numb
- devastated
- traumatised
- empty
- lost
When I was going through my relationship break up I felt all these things. So many friends were coming to me for advice about their relationship issues. And then I had clients coming to see me about their relationship problems too. It made me stop and think about what was actually happening and whether it was possible to recover from divorce or a relationship breakdown.
Have you been stuck in this same place for sometime?
I noticed that there were certain similarities in all these situations. I knew that for me even though my social and business life had always gone well relationships were my biggest challenge. I couldn’t understand why even relationships which had started with such promise ended is such a dismal way. I had all these divorce questions and needed some divorce tips. There just had to be more to my life than all this personal pain and misery which in turn caused me to have a low self esteem and lack of confidence.
What has this relationship breakdown meant to you?
Do you feel as though it was all your fault and you will never be happy again? I know I blamed myself mulling over all the mistakes I thought I’d made and the wrong things I’d said. I even wondered if it was the clothes that I wore and how I behaved. I asked myself if there was there such a thing as divorce recovery? Perhaps you feel hatred towards your ex? I know after the shock and upset I did because it was a way of helping me cope – a safety device.
Will you ever recover from this divorce?
Feelings are so strong where relationships are concerned. My emotions were all over the place and I found it was so difficult to cope at work. Everywhere I looked there were happy couples but when I looked in the mirror there wasn’t a trace of happiness in my face. Would I ever be able to move on with my life and replace my divorce emotions with joyful ones? Does this sound familiar?
How to go about Divorce Recovery
I bet you want to recover from your divorce or relationship breakdown. I would imagine you want a whole new life where you are happy, fulfilled, full of fun and laughter. That’s how everyone I spoke to felt. So what could be stopping you – a four lettered word called FEAR? Fear that you may end up in a similar situation again where you feel as though life just isn’t worth living? You may even be asking Why divorce? But for you to have a new beginning there has to be an end to something that is no longer working.
Is there a future after Divorce or Relationship Breakdown?
There most certainly is and I have discovered the secret of divorce recovery. I suddenly realised what the similarities were with regard to mine and my friends and clients relationship breakups and the more I checked it out the more it confirmed my beliefs. As with all great revelations it is simple. If you want to know how to recover from divorce I share this secret with you in my e Book 3 Easy Steps to End Divorce Pain.
Are you wondering how to recover from divorce or a relationship breakdown?
I can show you
- how special you are
- how you have limited your potential
- how you have restricted your capacity for love
- how unique you are
- how much more powerful you are than you realise
I will show you
- how to change the way you look at yourself
- how to grow as a result of this experience
- how you will see this as the beginning of your brilliant new life
- how to put your divorce recovery into action
For more information and to learn how to create the new you read my e Book 3 Easy Steps to End Divorce Pain where I set it all out in an easy format guiding you through the process so that you can have the wonderful life you deserve.