Should I stay in this abusive relationship for the sake of the children?
How often do you look at your children?
I bet its several times a day especially when they do something new that they’ve never done before. Do you remember the first time when you held them in your arms? All that hard work had been worth it. I always remember my mother saying it was the most painful experience but as soon as you held your baby you forgot about what you’d just been through. You’d looked after yourself for 9 months making sure that you hadn’t eaten or drunk anything that could affect the health of your baby, to give it its best fighting chance. And then it arrived. The last thought on your mind was about the effects of divorce on children.
Did you bond straight away or was it a delayed reaction because of your hormones?
There is so much pressure put on a new mum. The experience is different from what you were expecting however many books you’d read. Nothing could totally prepare you for the responsibility of taking this tiny being home and looking after it. Even bathing it was a scary experience in case it fell out of your hands because the soap had made its skin so slippy. You never even considered that you may suffer from divorce depression one day.
How do you feel when you look at your sleeping child?
They are so vulnerable and innocent with their eyes closed, breathing gently whilst they are in that far away land of dreams. However naughty they may have been during the day your heart fills with love looking at them and you know that you have to protect them against all odds as they are too small to do this for themselves. Not only do they not have the strength but they don’t have the mental capabilities. You decide to stay in your abusive relationship so that they have some sort of family life and you don’t want them to suffer any divorce effects.
What if your partner becomes abusive towards the children?
He won’t, is your immediate reaction. Question your reasons for staying in a relationship where you fear hearing his key in the lock in case he ‘s been drinking or had another bad day. You know if this is the case he will use you as his punch bag. Not only is this terrible for you but it means the children will grow up in fear and anger, wanting to protect you but also thinking this is the normal way to behave. These are reasons for divorce. Maybe he always apologises the next day and you believe him when he says it won’t happen again, but it always does.
Are your children living in fear of your husband/partner?
In recent months there have been many cases of child abuse reported in the papers. The people who do this to a child are not balanced, happy loving human beings. There is something inside them which is badly damaged and they need professional help and guidance. Even though you may have loved them once the love and protection you feel for your children is so strong that it is in yours and their best interests for you to end the relationship and get divorce help. I explain more about this in my free bonus eBook How to Lessen the Effects of Divorce on Children.
Will being divorce kids affect the rest of their lives?
Not if the situation is handled sensitively and with love. If however you stay and your partner does abuse them then this can have a detrimental lifetime effect on your children. Abuse comes in many different forms – it can be mental as well as physical, undermining their confidence and making them feel like victims. You will recognise this though because you are already suffering from these effects. In my eBook 3 Easy Steps to End Divorce Pain I give you divorce support to help you to recover from what has happened to you by showing you a completely different way of looking at yourself and your life.
